InSIGHT Into Our Lives

Jill and I would so much like to thank everyone that has been so kind to pray for us and Matthew over the last months. It is such a blessing to have so many people that care for you in so many ways. We are so blessed with a church that truly loves and cares for us.

As many of you know we took Matthew to have his vision checked by an ophthalmologist. We made the appointment not because we thought Matthew had normal vision but because we already believed something to be abnormal. The doctor confirmed our concern and told us that Matthew has the same genetic problem as Allison.

Allison and Matthew have what is known as Leibers Congenital Amaurosis. Approximately 3,000 people in the U.S. have this genetic problem. Some can barely see light while others are just very farsighted. Allison has light perception and can see shapes and shadows. Jill and I believe that God may have given Matthew more than that but we will not know how much until he is able to communicate with us. If he is like Allison that means he will be speaking in 15 word sentences when he turns two.

When we first learned about Allison 4.5 years ago we were shocked and very grieved but so many of you comforted us by things that you would say or do for us. God is good and we learned in a very special way that God is "the God of all comfort". II Corinthians 1:4 says "God comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God"

Jill and I have made no formal announcements before this. However as we have shared the news with many of our family and friends we have come to realize that many are taking this very hard. This is quite understandable in every way. We would like to comfort you now by the comfort that God used you to comfort us

1. Many of you told us that we must be very special parents for God to give us a child like Allison. We would like to let you all know that our family and friends and our church must be very special also for God to allow this to happen in your midst.

2. Many of you told us that God must have a very special plan for Allison's life. We would like to let you know that in this circumstance that God must have a very special plan for you our family our friends and our Church also. "We know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are the called according to his purpose"

3. Many of you comforted us not because you could understand what we were going through but because in tears you tried to understand. We know that this is difficult for you also and in tears we too want to understand your hurts even in this matter.

4. Many of you comforted us because you loved Allison and now will love Matthew. Know for a surety that you will be comforted also in being loved by Allison and Matthew.

Jill and I deeply care for and love all of you and we have been aware that many are and have struggled with the news of Matthew in a great way. It does not offend us that you may struggle with it especially when so many of you were praying so hard for this situation. Some of you may have wondered why we have not seemed to struggle with it as much this time around. There are several reasons why this is true.

1. After living four and a half years with a young girl as delightful as Allison it is very difficult to be overly sad about having another child with the same thing.

2. We both knew that we had a 1 in 4 chance at having another blind child and we had decided about 3 years ago that it didn't matter to us.

3. There was a point at which the doctors told us that we may not be able to get pregnant again and so we are just delighted that God did give us another child.

4. There are 5 types of Leibers Congenital Amaurosis of which 3 include mental retardation. We are blessed that the kind our Kids have is not those. There are so many other things that cause blindness, which include brain abnormalities, tumors, diseases that lead to organ failures and even childhood death. We have been blessed.

5. We have learned to appreciate things that we see so many other people taking for granted. One example is the use of the other senses. Not only is it amazing to see how Allison uses her sense of smell, hearing and taste but Jill and I have both noticed that our senses have become more sensitive because we are more aware of them. Allison's memory is absolutely amazing and we have actually come to rely on her memory in our own work at times. We are learning Braille and have been absolutely amazed at the careers and accomplishments of the blind. In some ways God has opened a door to world that we never even knew existed!

6. Unlike many of you Jill and I deal with this on a day to day basis. We have had several years to adjust to what it means to have a blind child. Having another blind child in many ways is actually an easier adjustment even though that is hard to imagine…..in other words this is our reality and what God has given us and we are at peace with that! As the great song "It is Well With My Soul" says " Whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say it is well with my soul".

7. In some ways were hoping to tell Allison that she had a sighted brother and we were even preparing her for that possibility. One night before Matthew was born we were talking about it and Allison started crying and said "Daddy that wouldn't be fair if Matthew was sighted and not me". In some ways it was a blessing not to have to tell Allison that her brother was sighted.

I could go on and on but I think that many of you get the point.

In John chapter 9 the disciples of Jesus asked Jesus "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered and said "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the workS of God should be made manifest in him." The works that were shown in him were many. The obvious one is that he was given sight. As we read the entire chapter the main and central work that was being shown through this man however was the work of Redemption that Jesus Christ was going to do! Many may have privately wondered if God was punishing Jill or myself for some sin in our life and I would like to help you but there is nothing that can help someone with that kind of thinking. Just be assured that Jill and I live with Allison and Matthew everyday and we have asked ourselves that question probably a few hundred times more than you may have thought it about us!

The bottom line is that God is good all the time!

My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me
I can not choose the colors
He worketh steadily
Oft times he weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget he sees the upper
And I the underside
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern he has planned

In Christ,
Jonathon and Jill Smith