Monday, August 20, 2007

Claritatem

Claritatem- Clarity in the midst of a changing world and uncertain times.

Clarity, "to make clear". Clarity has become a hot topic, a popular word in leadership vernacular. Everyone seems to want clarity in their personal lives and even demand clarity from their leaders. A clear view, or visionary leadership is important but what happens when the sure minded individual or the leader extraordinaire doesn’t know which way to go next. Let’s be honest.....in a perfect world everyone has 20/20 vision but this is not a world without imperfection. What if God chooses to make the way unclear? What if you must start walking by faith and not by sight? What if his plan for you turns from one of clarity to one where you must walk step by step every day? In an age where change is becoming more rapid and the storms of life seem more severe how can we still find our way? When the winds howl and the lightning strikes, when the rain is as blinding as an East Texas gully washer what do you do?
In 2002, Jill and I had our first child. We had a beautiful baby girl. What a blessing. When she was 2 to 3 months of age we realized that something was wrong with her eyes. We took her to an ophthalmologist and found that our little girl was blind. It took 6 months and numerous tests before we found her blindness was due to a genetic problem. She has what is known as Lebers Congenital Amaurosis or LCA. We were told that we had a one in four chance with each pregnancy and that there is no treatment. In November 2006 we were blessed with a little boy. Within a few weeks it became clear to us that he also had LCA.

Even though the first year or two was difficult to deal with, my wife and I have come to know that we are blessed. Both of our children are healthy and have no other problems related to their blindness. They are both bright children and delightful. God has given us two living, breathing, illustrations of walking by faith and not by sight.

An absence of clarity is exactly what my children have. Metaphorically they are like many children of God...."they see the light", but there is absolutely no clarity. I have asked my little girl many times, "What does Daddy look like to you"? Her answer from the very beginning has been "You look like a blob daddy". My children have absolutely no clarity but they do see light, shadows and areas of extreme contrast. They are able to see the line where a white tile floor becomes a dark colored carpet. To survive in a very unclear and changing world they have developed four modifications in their behavior. They do not despise the changes or the uncertainty but instead have made adjustments. These modifications have helped them go forward. I believe that these modifications can help anyone who is unclear of Gods direction during the uncertainty of storms and changing times.


Turn to the Light

My little girl uses what she has! We must all learn to use what we have. A wise man once said “It’s not what you have that makes you great, but what you do with what you have". Since she can see light she uses light to get a bearing and use as a standard for movement. She can come back to that light and know where she is in relation to everything else around her. It is the same in our lives. We must use what we have. You have seen the light, so use the light, and use what you know to be true. Truth is always truth. You may see it from a different angle, but it is still the same truth. What are your "Lifetruths"? Don't abandon them in a crisis of vision, but stick with them. These are principles that God has laid down for your life in his Word. The world may look different than it did 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, but the gospel is still true and it’s still saving souls. If you know something to be absolutely true it will always be absolutely true. My daughter has two categories for light. They are "God light" and "Man light". She learned early on that the light that comes from God’s creation is more trustworthy, but light that man has made can be easily turned off or moved. Unfortunately, many have built their lives and ministries on what they assumed to be true light but it was manmade light or a mirrors reflection. My little girl often goes by mirrors and says "Daddy, what is that light coming from that room"? She sees the light but doesn't know it is a reflection. If she were to walk toward that light she would crash. Follow the true light; use it to get your bearings and don't settle for manmade light or mere reflections. Jesus is the Light of the World and the Gospel is the power of God unto salvation.

Take Your Time

My little girl takes forever to do a number of daily things. Many of you parents can sympathize with what I am saying but this is even more than that. Allison has learned that if she goes fast and collides with something it hurts more than if she was going slowly. So, one of her modifications is that she has learned to walk in a way that gives her the most speed with the least amount of pain. Just like an apex is the fastest speed at which a car can go through a curve without hitting anything, Allison has developed an apex for travelling without a clear view. This speed is sloooooww. If you don't have clarity in life you could go ahead and put the pedal to the metal and travel a hundred miles an hour if you wanted. Frequently you will hurt yourself and others in the process. How many times have we felt "pressure" to make a quick decision because everyone was waiting or because "That's what good leadership does"? Did you ever think that God wanted them to wait, and he was expecting you to wait on him to show you the way before you made a decision? Did it ever cross your mind that God was trying to use you to teach people who are immersed in a "Drive-thru" culture to learn the forgotten Christian virtue called patience? Maybe a lack of vision in life, family, ministry, company, job, etc. is God reminding us that patience means to "wait on the Lord". Don’t come to hasty judgments about things you don’t understand or when you don’t know what’s going on around you. Let the Lord show you how things really are. When you can't see its best to go slow!

Trust His Voice

God had to slow Elijah down. Elijah was emotionally spent and thought he was the only one still serving. God got him alone in a cave, showed him some grand things and then "a still small voice". So many times I am blinded by my ambitions, my visions, my accomplishments, my victories, my disappointments, my defeats, my voice, and the voice of others. I fail to see that I am exhausted and in a bad state of mental being. Sometimes I become so wrapped up in a God given vision or message that I forget that there may be more to come. My first vision seems to be running out of gas. Like Elijah, despite my past victories, suddenly it seems my enemies are overtaking me and I wonder if God really knows what he is doing. God takes away my certainty. He does not need me to understand what he is specifically doing. He strips me of everything that might say "I'm in control, I know what’s going on, and I’m in charge". This is almost debilitating, however, it is only when I come to that place that I am qualified to lead. It is then that I am ready to listen to His voice, it is then that I am reminded I need him and there is nothing I can do without him.

When walking in a crowded room or a place where furniture has been rearranged, Allison has learned to listen more intently to my voice. She trusts that my eye is on her. She knows my voice in a special way. She has learned to depend on and trust my voice. She knows I love her and want no harm to come to her. If I call out to her through the noise in a gentle voice, "Allison, stop". She hears my voice in spite of the crowd, and she stops. She knows she cannot see and that I can. Many children would keep walking or running until their parents chase them, but not Allison. She knows her daddy's eyes are on her, and she listens to my voice. Maybe, it is time again to remember that we are blind and that it is God who sees. Maybe you have started to think it is you who does the seeing. Maybe things shouldn’t get crowded or people shouldn’t move furniture, but that is unrealistic. It’s time again to trust his grace and not our ability. In the midst uncertainty and changing times rather than trust my ability or memories of how things were its best to trust His Voice.

Take His Hand

There is something special about holding hands. I can still remember the first time that I held my wife's hand. I can only imagine how special it is for someone who is blind to hold the hand of a sighted loved one. There is incredible safety, an easing of the mind and heart. A voice brings comfort, gives direction but is gone. Was it real or was it my imagination? Was God really speaking to me or was it my own thoughts ringing in my mind? Holding hands is a constant contact.

Allison was not very old when we realized that she was doing something unusual. To our amazement her fourth modification was to interpret what we were doing subconsciously with our hands. When we were stepping up on a curb we would raise our hands slightly before we got to them. She was alert to our movements and began stepping up before we could tell her there was a step. She knew by the movement of our hands when we wanted her to walk in front of us, to walk behind us, to go right, to go left, to stop, to back up, to duck, and to step down. To this day we can guide her through a very crowded or small area and she will not run into anything at all. She is so good at it that while holding our hands most people never notice that she is blind. When your way is unclear and your path is uncertain....take your Father's hand. Keep constant contact with him and know him so well that you can discern the very intimations of his will. This isn’t something you learn by going to church once, twice, three times a week. This knowledge comes only from an experience gained by walking with the Lord daily. When my child wants to hold my hand without saying anything and without knowing where I am she stretches out her little arm and hand. Sometimes it’s in the wrong direction, but like a good Father that doesn’t stop me.

Psalm 139:10 "Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me."

Isa 42:6 "I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee."

If you would like to learn more about LCA or think you may know someone that has LCA and it hasn’t been diagnosed please go to http://1sttouch.org/project3000.html.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Seek His Face

One morning, soon after we learned that our little girl was blind I was overwhelmed with emotions and struggled with something that was deep within me. At first I thought that I was being silly and over-emotional but then I realized that this was deeper than worry or selfishness. I was very moved and began expressing to God that I did not think it was fair for a little girl not to be able to see her own daddy's face. I cried from my heart and felt sorry for my 4 month old baby girl.

As I walked over to her room that same morning I remember leaning over the rail of her crib and saying "Good morning sunshine". She responded almost immediately by reaching up her little hands and feeling my face. That was the first time that she had ever done anything like that. Suddenly I realized that she could see me. It wasn't the way I preferred but I realized that in her own way she could still see my face. I began to cry even more and held my little girl like the precious gift that she is!

While I was holding her God spoke to my heart. "Jonathon, I too deeply desire for my children to see my face". I then realized that the emotions and struggle I had were not sinful or selfish but the desire of a loving father, a desire that our heavenly father also has for us. Sin has blinded the human race. We cannot see God with our eyes but we can still know what he looks like if we will SEEK HIS FACE.


1Ch 16:11 "Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually."


2Ch 7:14 "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.


Psa 105:4 "Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore. "

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

InSIGHT Into Our Lives

Jill and I would so much like to thank everyone that has been so kind to pray for us and Matthew over the last months. It is such a blessing to have so many people that care for you in so many ways. We are so blessed with a church that truly loves and cares for us.

As many of you know we took Matthew to have his vision checked by an ophthalmologist. We made the appointment not because we thought Matthew had normal vision but because we already believed something to be abnormal. The doctor confirmed our concern and told us that Matthew has the same genetic problem as Allison.

Allison and Matthew have what is known as Leibers Congenital Amaurosis. Approximately 3,000 people in the U.S. have this genetic problem. Some can barely see light while others are just very farsighted. Allison has light perception and can see shapes and shadows. Jill and I believe that God may have given Matthew more than that but we will not know how much until he is able to communicate with us. If he is like Allison that means he will be speaking in 15 word sentences when he turns two.

When we first learned about Allison 4.5 years ago we were shocked and very grieved but so many of you comforted us by things that you would say or do for us. God is good and we learned in a very special way that God is "the God of all comfort". II Corinthians 1:4 says "God comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God"

Jill and I have made no formal announcements before this. However as we have shared the news with many of our family and friends we have come to realize that many are taking this very hard. This is quite understandable in every way. We would like to comfort you now by the comfort that God used you to comfort us

1. Many of you told us that we must be very special parents for God to give us a child like Allison. We would like to let you all know that our family and friends and our church must be very special also for God to allow this to happen in your midst.

2. Many of you told us that God must have a very special plan for Allison's life. We would like to let you know that in this circumstance that God must have a very special plan for you our family our friends and our Church also. "We know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are the called according to his purpose"

3. Many of you comforted us not because you could understand what we were going through but because in tears you tried to understand. We know that this is difficult for you also and in tears we too want to understand your hurts even in this matter.

4. Many of you comforted us because you loved Allison and now will love Matthew. Know for a surety that you will be comforted also in being loved by Allison and Matthew.

Jill and I deeply care for and love all of you and we have been aware that many are and have struggled with the news of Matthew in a great way. It does not offend us that you may struggle with it especially when so many of you were praying so hard for this situation. Some of you may have wondered why we have not seemed to struggle with it as much this time around. There are several reasons why this is true.

1. After living four and a half years with a young girl as delightful as Allison it is very difficult to be overly sad about having another child with the same thing.

2. We both knew that we had a 1 in 4 chance at having another blind child and we had decided about 3 years ago that it didn't matter to us.

3. There was a point at which the doctors told us that we may not be able to get pregnant again and so we are just delighted that God did give us another child.

4. There are 5 types of Leibers Congenital Amaurosis of which 3 include mental retardation. We are blessed that the kind our Kids have is not those. There are so many other things that cause blindness, which include brain abnormalities, tumors, diseases that lead to organ failures and even childhood death. We have been blessed.

5. We have learned to appreciate things that we see so many other people taking for granted. One example is the use of the other senses. Not only is it amazing to see how Allison uses her sense of smell, hearing and taste but Jill and I have both noticed that our senses have become more sensitive because we are more aware of them. Allison's memory is absolutely amazing and we have actually come to rely on her memory in our own work at times. We are learning Braille and have been absolutely amazed at the careers and accomplishments of the blind. In some ways God has opened a door to world that we never even knew existed!

6. Unlike many of you Jill and I deal with this on a day to day basis. We have had several years to adjust to what it means to have a blind child. Having another blind child in many ways is actually an easier adjustment even though that is hard to imagine…..in other words this is our reality and what God has given us and we are at peace with that! As the great song "It is Well With My Soul" says " Whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say it is well with my soul".

7. In some ways were hoping to tell Allison that she had a sighted brother and we were even preparing her for that possibility. One night before Matthew was born we were talking about it and Allison started crying and said "Daddy that wouldn't be fair if Matthew was sighted and not me". In some ways it was a blessing not to have to tell Allison that her brother was sighted.

I could go on and on but I think that many of you get the point.

In John chapter 9 the disciples of Jesus asked Jesus "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered and said "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the workS of God should be made manifest in him." The works that were shown in him were many. The obvious one is that he was given sight. As we read the entire chapter the main and central work that was being shown through this man however was the work of Redemption that Jesus Christ was going to do! Many may have privately wondered if God was punishing Jill or myself for some sin in our life and I would like to help you but there is nothing that can help someone with that kind of thinking. Just be assured that Jill and I live with Allison and Matthew everyday and we have asked ourselves that question probably a few hundred times more than you may have thought it about us!

The bottom line is that God is good all the time!

My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me
I can not choose the colors
He worketh steadily
Oft times he weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget he sees the upper
And I the underside
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern he has planned

In Christ,
Jonathon and Jill Smith